In an earlier article I entitled - Mirror mirror on the wall. I wrote quickly in the opening paragraphs of that blog, about looking at yourself in the mirror, and if you responded with a "...oh yuck.." or "...god I'm getting old..." When looking at yourself in the mirror, this was, in my opinion, typically a sign of low self esteem.
Could it be, that it isn't low self esteem, and actually, just a comment, that you're not happy with how you look at the present time? And therefore, be more about your self image and not your self esteem.
Yes it could be, is the short answer.
What I have found more often than not is, when we reject self: our facial appearance, height, weight, intelligence etc... I have found, that more often than not, with those I am coaching, it is linked more with low self esteem than with healthy self esteem.
There is nothing wrong with not being happy about the appearance of another wrinkle on your forehead or loss of hair and a receding hairline or added pounds as you stand on the scales. There is nothing wrong with wanting to renovate the vehicle they move through the world in (their body). The key to whether it is or is not linked to low self esteem is this.
Do you still believe strongly, that you are of value and importance with or without your looks?
If you do not believe you are of worth without your looks, because of the way you appear, then it is low esteem we are dealing with.
It's Unconditional Stupid!
Healthy self esteem is unconditional. (read that a few times and get it into your being)
That is - whether you are 20 pounds overweight or lost your hair, or got another unwanted wrinkle. Do you believe you are of value or do you attach specific conditions that need to be met, for you to be of value?
Do you say "...When I've lost those pounds, or wear make up, or have that hair treatment, then I'll be of value?" These are conditions, and self esteem is not about conditions. It is about valuing yourself completely without conditions attached.
You do not have to do anything at all, to have a healthy level of self esteem.
Click on my video blog and bring this message alive!
As I mentioned in my previous blog, self esteem is a gift you give to yourself. It's a gift you were given at birth and it's up to you to claim it. Claim what? I am saying that you are a valuable human being and it is your birth right. Are you willing to claim your birth right? That you are indeed a valuable human being? Here and now, without having to "do" anything!What I have found more often than not is, when we reject self: our facial appearance, height, weight, intelligence etc... I have found, that more often than not, with those I am coaching, it is linked more with low self esteem than with healthy self esteem.
There is nothing wrong with not being happy about the appearance of another wrinkle on your forehead or loss of hair and a receding hairline or added pounds as you stand on the scales. There is nothing wrong with wanting to renovate the vehicle they move through the world in (their body). The key to whether it is or is not linked to low self esteem is this.
Do you still believe strongly, that you are of value and importance with or without your looks?
If you do not believe you are of worth without your looks, because of the way you appear, then it is low esteem we are dealing with.
It's Unconditional Stupid!
Healthy self esteem is unconditional. (read that a few times and get it into your being)
That is - whether you are 20 pounds overweight or lost your hair, or got another unwanted wrinkle. Do you believe you are of value or do you attach specific conditions that need to be met, for you to be of value?
Do you say "...When I've lost those pounds, or wear make up, or have that hair treatment, then I'll be of value?" These are conditions, and self esteem is not about conditions. It is about valuing yourself completely without conditions attached.
You do not have to do anything at all, to have a healthy level of self esteem.
Click on my video blog and bring this message alive!
To value yourself unconditionally! You do not have to wait for something to change or something to happen. You can give yourself permission to value yourself unconditionally - now!
It's Ok to Renovate
I've been asked during a training on self esteem "...does that mean we should not have cosmetic surgery...?" No! is my instant response. In fact, I'm all for you doing whatever you want to do to improve your appearance. The question I have is this " Do you value yourself unconditionally with or without it?
"Go to the gym, go for a run, wear make up, buy nice clothes". All this is fine with me - BUT, if you don't do it, are you still of value as a human being? That's the link.
What I have found is, that people who have healthy self esteem will care for them selves because they want t
o express the inner value they have of themselves, in all they do. So they take care of themselves. Have a look at people who pay no attention to thier appearance or their personal health and hygiene. You will find low self esteem exists there and you will also find this to be true at the other end of the scale with those who have to have all the looks, the body and clothes to match. They have an obsession with looking good to hide their low self esteem which birth all kinds of personal insecurities.
o express the inner value they have of themselves, in all they do. So they take care of themselves. Have a look at people who pay no attention to thier appearance or their personal health and hygiene. You will find low self esteem exists there and you will also find this to be true at the other end of the scale with those who have to have all the looks, the body and clothes to match. They have an obsession with looking good to hide their low self esteem which birth all kinds of personal insecurities. How do I know? Because they tell me that they feel less of a person when they don't look a certain way.
Do you get it now? Does it makes more sense to you now? (I hope so)
I wanted to clarify this point, which I wasn't clear about in my earlier blog on self esteem.
I hope that clears it up for you. And Michael, thanks for the feedback which generated this blog reply.
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