Should I Stay or Should I Go?

When the shit hits the fan and there's no where to hide. When you've done your best and it still isn't working. When all is never going to change and you've had enough. What can you do? What are your options? Whether it's an intimate relationship gone sour or you're in a bullying situation at work - what are your options?

You Have Only 4 Options

1) Stay and sulk:
That's right. Shut up and handle it some more, for longer knowing that, how it is is how it will always be for you. If nothing changes then nothing changes, so don't complain, just stay put and shut up! Unless, of course, you want to stay, bitch and moan about the situation, but you'll do nothing about it. I have seen this in some work situations. It's not what I would recommend however for some it is the option they choose. Perhaps because they think they can't leave or think they will never have anything better. Perhaps it's that they have been battered for too long and have surrendered to the regular treatment they get. Who knows, but stay they do.

2) Leave:
Now that is sometimes the perfect option. If you've had enough. When trying once more is no longer an option for you. It's time for you to pack up and leave. Make a run for the door. Get out of there! This is a workable, intelligent option, if the other 3 options are not for you. Do you know when to call it quits? What has to happen before you will leave and never come back? Answer those questions, and when you experience the scenario that determines you are to leave - then leave immediately!

3) Stay & Fight:
You think you're being treated unfairly and you're willing to say so, then make a stand for what you think is right. Fight for your rights! Approach the right people. Knock on doors, make phone calls, start a petition. Do what you need to do, to let those who need to know you're not happy, and how you want to see positive change. Many men and woman have changed the course of history because they were willing to stand and fight, for what they believed was right.

This is a good option, assuming you are prepared to pay the price, staying and fighting will bring your way. It takes energy to fight, emotional energy. It can be taxing and at times you may wonder whether it's all worth it.

Are you good for the fight? Do you know what it will cost you to do so? Do you have excellent support? Do you know when your fighting isn't working? Worst case scenario is... you may need to consider the other 3 options listed here, if fighting doesn't work for you.

4) Stay & Thrive:
This requires a complete paradigm shift. Although things don't change - you change. You change how you think about the situation or that person that has been irritating you. You have a new perspective on an old, difficult problem. This is the option I will typically coach a client to. To not stay and suffer or leave or even stay & fight, but to change how they think about it. Yes, this is a skilled area of Coaching. This is where you go to a place within yourself where you have a completely new perspective, that lifts you above and beyond the bullying, intimidation, irritation or fear of the situation. To a place where you are able to truly thrive where you once gasped for air and struggled physically, to maintain your place in life.

All that's initially needed is a desire to make things work, and a willingness to explore new ways of considering how things may be different. You may not know how but you do know you want to have a better perspective. Then that will be the seed that good Coaching will nurture so you can fully flourish in a situation that you once thought of as being dry and desolate.

Easy as 1,2,3 and 4

So there you have it.

Should you stay or should you go? Only you can decide that?

What you now know, are the options you have. You're better off with this information, rather than allowing the roll of a dice or the random selection of a card to decide for you.

Which option is the best option for you? Which one provides you with the strength to move forward?

Coaching Closes the Gap

This is where 1:1 specialist coaching can truly show it's worth in supporting you in making the decision of whether to stay or go. To me option 1 is an unacceptable choice, so coaching is needed for you to be empowered to try options 2-4. Options 2-4 all need support, and specific thought patterns to make them a success for you. Again this is the place of Coaching, to make each of these options viable for you.

I hope you're now more aware of what choices you have, so you can decide whether to stay or go.

For the video blog version of this article - you can watch an unrehearsed recording,

by clicking on the player below.