Hardwired Habits?

The chains of habit are generally too small to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.
Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

Habits are an interesting thing. We form them gradually over time from the way we consistently respond to the world around us. As they form and become fixed they then begin to define who we are and how we react. Those we have come to know over time, are able to recognise us by our predictable responses that they've learnt from their experiences of being with us in a variety of situations.

They're sneaky critta's, habits. Habits, in their early formative stages have to learn to habitually and consistently respond in a specific way. Then, once you've mastered your response (remember this can be positive or negative), it becomes almost hard-wired and you lose conscious awareness that you behave in a certain way, consistently. That is to say, the habit slips from your consciousness.

Forming Habits
There are 2 ways that I'm familiar with, how habits are formed:

One is you have to develop your habit response consciously till you get very good at it.
The second way of forming a habit is that you learnt it without realising it.

How do you do this?

Well... you are exposed to it on a regular basis (usually as a young child) and it is considered an acceptable and appropriate way of behaving. You don't question whether this way of responding is good or not - you just do it cause that's how people you know (and often respect or love), behave. And there you have it, a well formed, non-conscious habit, alive and well on planet earth. Oh, by the way, if you've got a well formed and mature one, it's highly likely you don't know you have it, but everyone else knows you have it!!!

Habits can empower you, assist you in maximising your potential, grow your relationships, enhance your days, or destroy everything you consider precious. Habits define you and people know you by them. Whether you are trustworthy and honorable or a habitual liar or thief. Your habits form the reputation that you will have around town. Your habits will speak for themselves and be more convincing than any eloquent speech you offer. People will remember you by your habits and not by your words. They can be as simple as an idiosyncratic finger twitch or a tapestry of behaviours that result in the destruction of many lives.

Reflection Time
Here's are few questions to prod you, to consider what habits you have:

• What habits are you aware of that either enhance your life or limit it?


• Which habits do you have that enhance your relationships and which one's are destroying them?


• Do you notice a familiar pattern emerging in your life i.e. employment, schooling, relationships that would indicate a cycle of behaviour that's forming?


• Are a number of people giving you similar feedback about the way you behave or communicate and you're ignoring it or brushing it off (either good or bad)?


• How will you find out about those habits you don't know you have?

Habits, we all have them. They direct and determine our level of success.

Samuel Johnson says in his quote that I opened with, that they are "... too strong to be broken". This is often how they appear to be. That they capture you and compel you to respond in a given manner. Are they too strong to be broken? In my opinion no, they most definitely are not. They were formed over time with practice and diligent effort. They can also be dissolved in a similar manner (and in less time than it took to form them).

How to do that is beyond this short blog. I will say however, that you'll find many of the answers to change your habits, in my earlier writings i.e. you get what you focus on, consistently constant, self esteem are just 3 of many articles found on this blog site that will give you an insight into how to rid yourself of habits that are destructive or irritating you. (...or those around you!)

Take a Look at Yourself!
An old cliche I have used in many trainings, and refers to habit awareness goes like this "... if enough people say you're an idiot - you probably are..." Feedback is the food of champions and is a key step in changing or transforming any habit. Your level of willingness to entertain the idea that you have a habit that needs to change is the first stage of releasing a habit and breaking a bond that some say "...is too hard to break".




"First we make our habits, then our habits make us".
Charles C Noble