Feedback the Food of Champions

This is my 2nd article in the mastery series. Remember that I am speaking of mastery in anything: Leadership, managent, business, parenting, coaching, training, sports, sales, communication etc... The principles of mastery apply across all contexts and professions.

So... You've been practicing regularly. You've been applying what you've learnt from your last training session in leadership, management, staff training etc... You've committed yourself to researching the field. So how do you know if you are practicing, applying or demonstrating what you have learnt, correctly?

You could always just believe that what you're doing is what you were taught, or alternatively, you could get some feedback on your technique and progress. Master know that practice is not enough, nor is practicing perfectly. You need to create a feedback information loop, to gain a different perspective on what you are doing and whether it is in fact, the right thing - that you're doing.

If mastery is the objective. Then feedback is a must!


Be Careful

Choose your teacher, coach or mentor carefully. It would help that they have your best interests at heart. If it's a high level skill you are wanting to perfect, my preference would be a trainer or coach who is skilled in the technique you are wanting to perfect. They do not have to have been a world champion, nor do they have to have achieved a high level of success in the sport or domain you are wishing to master. They do need to be very good at assessing your performance and giving you clear and precise feedback.

In my opinion they must have a very good knowledge base of the field of expertise you are wishing to master. This is an example of where the Coach needs to be an expert. (I wont address that principle in this article)

Our national All Blacks coach Graham Henry (rugby), was never an international star in the sport himself, yet he has an exceptional grasp of the sport and the ability to teach the necessary skills to elite players, byway of giving effective feedback to them. This is a common theme amongst great sports coaches. They are great communicators, have an indepth knowledge of the sport and know how to "read" the players they coach. They can identify with ease the small intricasies that make the difference to a players long term performance gains.

To gain mastery you must, as I said before, seek out feedback. Make sure it is from a credible source. That they are knowledgable of the principles that govern the field. (many coaches and athletes I came across in my sporting career, and offered feedback, knew myth and legend techniques, rather than sports science & psychology)

Ask Yourself

• How willing are you to recieve feedback?
• How coachable are you?
• Are you a know-it-all?
• Have your achievements distanced you from receiveing feedback?
• Do you believe you have more to learn?
• Do you believe that mastery is to be pursued and not a destination?
• How quickly do you take on the feedback and make the necessary changes?
• Do you argue with the person giving you feedback?
• Do you say "...yea BUT..." ?
• Do you brush feedback off given to you, and mumble "...what would they know..." ?
• How quickly are you willing to learn and unlearn?

The answers you give will either enhance or detract from your ability to both recieve feedback and achieve mastery.

Difficult Times
One of the most difficult things I have found that determines the receptivity to feedback I've given to others in the past, is the level of success they have already had. Their success becomes a convincer for them that what they have been doing works for them! When in fact, they need to put away some of what they do, even though it has gained them a degree of success to date. And take on the feedback being given to them, which will initially result in a momentary loss in their progress, yet take them to a higher performance level over the long run.

Tiger Woods, changing his technqiue is a good example of how he was willing to make changes to his golf swing and embrace the learning cycle performance dip, to gain an increase in performance long term.

Willingness
Your willingness to embrace feedback will be the limiter or determiner of whether you ever achieve mastery. Masters know that they require, hunger, thirst and constantly pursue - feedback. They even have the advanced skill of being able to filter out, from intentionally bad feedback/comments thrown at them, and take from that, anything that will assist them to improve their performance (advanced skill).

Most people will struggle with feedback given from people that actually care for them. Let alone being able to learn from those that are jealous of their success, or even hate their guts!


Find Someone

• Who are you willing to provide you with feedback?
• Are you able to get feedback from someone who has your best interests at heart?
• Who do you know that could help you with mastering the skills and attitude you need to be great at what you do?

Do something about having someone provide you with feedback. Be open and receptive to receiving feedback, or they'll never give it to you again. When you ask make sure your cup is empty. A cup is only useful if it is empty!!!
(No, I'm not going to explain the metaphor for you - work it out!).

Over the years I have been asked by many to give them feedback. Few really, truely want it. What I've found is, they want praise that will bolster their egos, confirmation of what they are doing already as being right or an opportunity to say what they know.

As Easy As 1,2,3
It's in my mind, as simple as this:

1. Seek out feedback
2. Apply it to yourself as quickly as possible
3. Practice what you have learnt
4. Review your progress
5. Ask for more feedback, and begin again at step 1 (Mastery learning cycle)

Here's to your continued progress to mastery.

Oh, and I also, am happy to recieve your feedback so leave a comment. Thanks for reading.


Pictures are of: Lance Armstrong, Graham Henry, Tiger Woods.

Peace Is Just a Step Away

This blog was the topic of a recent coaching session I was having with a senior Manager and I thought it would be useful, for you also.

When you are in the problem (whatever it may be) all there is, is more of the problem!

I bet your impressed with my rational, right? So... when we are faced with hardships, difficulties, threats, setbacks, emotional trauma etc... we are not able to easily assess the solution.

If you're a coach there are times when your client will have a "weighty" concern they want you to assist them with. You'll also, if in a manager or team leader role. You'll likely have staff coming to you with demands of every kind, and want you to immediately address their issue. Naturally, they are great at coming to your office when you have every other emergency flaring up all around you!!!

Got the picture yet? For some of you, this is your day to day reality - right? (close though, aye).

Would you like a technique that would ensure you maintain your sanity in a moment of crises and improve the quality of your decision making?

This isn't rocket science. The technique is quite simple, and those are the techniques I prefer to use. Consider using these techniques when you are already inundated with demands and someone comes to you with what they believe, is an emergency, (The scenario is where you are the senior person in the situation i.e. Mother to daughter, Manager to Staff, CEO to General Manager) these are the options you have:

• Ask them to briefly outline the key components of what the emergency or issue is.



• Ask them to rate the emergency from 1-10. (10 being critical and 1 being low need).



• Based on their score and your interpretation of their score. Tell them that you will get back to them immediately, in a specific time frame i.e. 30,60 or 90 minutes.

Set the time for you to get back to them, based on these 3 things:

1. What you have to deal with at the moment, prior to them calling on you


2. The score they have rated the situation (1-10)


3. Your interpretation of the situation based on your knowledge and experience

• Make sure you do get back to them when you said you would. (very important)


• If they come back to you before the time you have said you'd get back to them. Remind them of your agreement and resume what you were doing.

So there you have it. Simple aye?

Take The Step

There is something else that you can do when you are being swamped and overwhelmed by it all. In your mind step back and distance yourself (mentally and emotionally) from what's happening around you. Yes, this may take practice. You've done it before though. You've looked and thought about a particular situation or event as an unattached observer. Think about a time when you have done that. You've heard news and NOT been attached to it. You've seen media reports or heard stories without being connected to them. You've listened with distance and observed without attachment. That's what I want you to be able to do when hell flares up!

Step back from it.

Take some mental and emotional space. (while having not moved from your desk). Observe the issues and demands for what they are - information, data, reports, requests... and that's all!

By stepping back we enable ourselves to be at peace with the turmoil going on around us and from that mental approach we can rationally assess and solve the issues we face.

Try it. Get good at it. Practice it. The personal performance benefits are huge.

If you have a personal coach, then take this approach to your next coaching session and have that as a coaching outcome for you. For you to be able to step back from situations when you most need to, in times of overwhelm, in times of chaos.

Staff Need it Too

Oh, and as an added technique for the staff member who is likely standing at your door. Demanding you address an issue. Say to them "... take a breath, step back, just for a moment from the situation that you want me to deal with and sit down and tell me calmly what's happening..." (you use your words, for it to be authentic).

By inviting them to step back from it, they are better able to speak to you about it and for them to grasp the situation more rationally also.

Link this blog writing with the one I wrote earlier on "Stop the Fire Fighting" and you'll have a well rounded approach to demanding staff, management, children and life in general.

Take the step back and enjoy the peace!

Commitment To Research

Let me make an assumption about you. That you want to be exceptional at what you do. That you want to master the field you currently work in, or are learning. That's the assumption I'm making about you, and from this basis I want to speak to you about an important piece that needs to be present for you to master anything. Be it training, coaching leadership, management or sports.

I will add additional blogs on the subject of mastery, at later dates. This is the 1st of what will be a series of blogs on mastery.

When you learn a new domain, lets say coaching (could be anything tho'). You'd likely attend a training course on the subject and received a training manual and made some notes. You would have likely been introduced to the information you need to know and perhaps (hopefully) you had opportunities to practice what you were learning and received feedback on your progress while on the training. Excellent!

Once the training is over you need to gain competency and confidence in the skills you've learnt and journey towards mastery of the domain (my assumption about you).

While practice is an integral part of your ability to gain mastery, I'm not going to speak about practice, but to a component that must be present on the road to mastery. That component is -domain knowledge.

The pursuit of extensive knowledge of the field you wish to master is a critical component for you to achieve mastery of it. This is a consistent factor in all who achieve a level of mastery in anything.

Mastery Is...

A brief description of what I mean by mastery is:

• They have the ability to gain conscious competence of their non-conscious processes, when performing. That is, they know what they are doing when they are doing, what they do! (Think about that one).


• They extend and give back to the domain in which they have mastered. They do this by having new insights, being creative and innovative with old processes and techniques. Continuously improving and updating both themselves and the domain.

Now that I've given a brief on what I mean by mastery. Let's follow this idea of domain knowledge.

Domain Knowledge

It requires you to find out all that you can about the area you wish to be masterful in. If it is leadership, this will require you to research the leaders of your specific leadership domain. Also it will require you to investigate associated fields that have contributed to it. This research is too often left up to "...doing it, as I grow in the role..."

This is not the approach of those who wish to be exceptional. They recognise the need for increased knowledge and pro-actively pursue this need. They will actively take charge of this, and commit to researching the field themselves, and not allow it to be on an, as needed basis.

These people are not happy with just attending the scheduled training days, receiving the training manual and the MP3 recordings of the training. They will seek out preferred and suggested readings, extensively search the Internet for the topic, ask of those who have gained success already, and do much more. All in an attempt to gain increased knowledge of the field.

This increased knowledge base will come to the forefront of their mind at a later date, and when needed. It will enable them to make critical decisions, evaluate the field effectively and determine future trends. It will guide them to make new understandings, and challenge long held assumptions by the domain. And ultimately, heavily contribute to their mastery of the field they have long laboured in.

I know of no-one who has achieved mastery and NOT been committed to gaining knowledge of their chosen domain byway of a commitment to research. In one of my modelling projects, I studied Bruce Lee, the martial arts phenomenon of the 1970's who integrated the eastern and western fighting arts to create his own fighting style, called Jeet Kune Do. In an interview of Dan Inasanto, a diligent student and friend of Bruce's. Inasanto speaks of Bruce's commitment to research all of the fighting arts, philosophy and psychology fields he believed would assist in developing an effective fighting system. He said that Bruce would say, "...a student who wishes to embrace JKD, must embrace research."

Do enough background research and you will find this "commitment to research" is a constant in reaching mastery. My collegue and friend Dr. Michael Hall, co-founder of Neuro Semantics and the Meta-Coach Foundation, is in my opinion, an avid researcher, modeller, committed to increasing his knowldege of related domains. All this as apart of his constant pursuit of extending NS and the MCF.

Change of Focus

Now lets talk about YOU.

Practice is a must as are other components to master any skill. That hasn't been our focus here. The question I have for you is:

"How much time have you given to research to grow your knowledge of the field you wish to be great at?"

When I was a professional strength athlete I would read all I could about the science of strength and power. As a result of doing this I soon realised that much of what was being said in the gym was nothing more than urban legend and myth! With very little or no fact to support accepted training methods, some, used by the current champions.

That's what domain knowledge can do for you. You will quickly grow in your skill level, assuming you apply what you know!

How committed are you to gaining knowledge? Have you brought a book recently, loaned one from the library? Have you searched the internet? Joined a study group or practice group? Linked up with a national body or organisation of your interest? Asked to interview a leader in the field? Have you brought DVD's, MP3's, MP4's of those who are acknowledged leaders? Do you regularly visit their blogs or websites for updates?

Enough... !

You've got the idea, haven't you?

If you want to master the field you are learning or your chosen career. Are you willing to commit to research and growing your doamin knowledge?

If so - then you have "1" spoke of a multi-spoked wheel called mastery. I wish you well in your development in growing your knowledge base. Do it with joy and curiosity and my own favourite mindset - ravouness pursuit!

I will speak to you again on this subject - Mastery (a favourite of mine).

Best wishes, and I hope you'll continue to return to this blog as an adjunct to your pursuit of domain knowledge.

P.S If you didn't know who the pictures of the Masters I've posted in this blog.

We have at the top Josh Waitzkin (International Grandmaster in Chess and 2 x Tai Chi Chuan Push hands World Champion) we then have John Dobson - Inventor of the Dobsonian telescope and acclaimed astronomer. Then Bruce Lee of movie and Martial arts fame and Dr. M Hall co-founder of Neuro Semantics and the Meta Coach Foundation and prolific writer.

Memorable Brain Facts

If you have been to one of my keynote presentations or workshops it is highly likely that you have heard me talk about the brain and brain facts. I've been asked to write them down and provide them for other trainers or coaches so that's what I have done here for you.

To start with, I get the audience to form with their hands two fists and put both of their fists together and say "This is the approximate size of your brain..." and then I move immediately into a whole string of brain facts and examples to bring an awareness of how amazing our brain is.

Brain Facts

Here are a list of the facts I present in trainings we run, and some examples of makng the fact relative to the audience:

Your brain is 1.4kg average weight or 1.27kg average weight if you are a female. And of course ladies you know that it's not how big it is but how you use it that counts, right!!!

It has 100 billion neurons. How much is 100 billion? It is 167 times the population of our planet. So that's like 167 planet earths all lined up in a row.

If you were to start counting now "1-2-3-4-5-6-7 etc..." it would take you 171 years of counting to reach the number, 100 billion!

These 100 billion brain cells can make more connections with each other, that is, 1cell to another cell etc... and in doing so, make more connections than there are atoms in the Universe!

If you were to make a pile of A4 paper. Placing 1 piece of paper on top of another. A pile of 100 billion pieces of paper would soar to a height of 8,000km's

You have more than 350,000km's of neural wiring in your amazing brain which is enough wiring to be able to wrap around the earths equator 27 times.

You have an electrical impulse that travels at more than 320kmph down those kilometers of neurol wiring, processing information at more the 100 trillion processes per second, when you are driving your car!

You brain requires 20% of the oxygen you breath and 20% of the kilojoules you consume to maintain it's basic functions. Of all the blood that the heart pumps out, 20% of it is required by the brain. If we were to apply Paretos principle to our body, then the brain is the 20% that provides the 80% of our lifes experience.

That your brain is approxiamately 75% water very similar to the percentage of water to land ration as our Earth.

You do not see with your eyes. You see with your brain. Your eyes take in the basic primary colours and convert these light signals, sending them down the optic nerve to the occipital lobe where the brain "makes sense" of what the light impulses mean.

Our brain can slow time down or speed time up.

Our brain determines our entire experience on a daily basis.

And... this is the important bit....

If you do not drive it yourself then someone or something else will! So you can be the passenger in your own life's journey and hope like hell things go well for you (highly unlikely!) or you can step into the drivers seat, take charge of the controls. And determine both the direction and destination of yor own life. This is the choice that we each have!

The $1,000,000 question is...

"DO YOU KNOW HOW TO RUN YOUR OWN BRAIN?"

None of us were given a users manual for our amazing brain. None were taught how to eliminate disempowering beliefs, or how to make better internal movies, and edit out the horrable parts that life dishes out.

Is it possible to do this an more with our amazing brain?

YES... it is!

Closing Comment:

I hope you'll find these brain facts useful - I have been using these and others for many years now. If you are a Trainer or Coach, perhaps you'll catch me using these at my next keynote or training. They are a great base from which you can begin introducing the techniques, that we use in Neuro Semantics and Meta-Coaching to "run our own brains".

Resist and Suffer

I was coaching a client a few weeks back and she said how she had been a reformed alcoholic. She had been "dry" for 12 years. She also said how she was still an alcoholic and would always be one. Her question to me was, did I think she would ever be free from being an alcoholic? As she still had, at times, the need to consciously resist the desire to have a drink.

Another client I was coaching had decided to stay and strive in her beloved career (rather than suffer and surrender) But still had to meet with and interact with the person she was uncomfortable with. The question: would she be able to get to the point where that person no longer is able to fire off a negative emotional response within her via meetings, emails, reporting, phone calls etc... or would she have to consciously resist those negative emotions that arose from having to engage with this person -forever?

I was speaking to a reformed smoker who had given up smoking for some 6 months or so. He was previously smoked as many as 20 or more cigarettes a day. He had tried to give up a number of times before and this was the longest period he had been smoke-free to date. The problem he had: He had times when mixing socially where he smelt the aroma of a cigarette and found he had to resist consciously the desire to have a cigarette, whenever this happened.

Ok - now my point.


Settling for too Little too Soon
We settle for having moved on and overcome our old habits, yet we remain shackled to the past stimulus, be it alcohol, a person or cigarettes. We celebrate that change has occurred and yet console ourselves that we will remain always resisting the urge to take up the old behaviour or respond as we used to. And this is our fate.

I want you to have a different view of change. Rather than the view that change happens by degrees or in part. But happens completely! Yet we settle for less than what is possible.

A Cliche
You may have heard it before. If so, here it is again.

"What we resist - persists!"

Use your will to ignore something or some one and notice how hard it is. No matter how hard we try to stop thinking like that or doing that thing. It remains. And, in many cases wins and overcomes us. Defeats our every attempt to change. So much so, that we surrender to the old habit and accept that change is not for me.

Will you always be haunted by that smell, taste, emotion or person? Will change always be about having to fight the urge to resume it?

In my opinion and experience the answer is NO!

Congratulations that you've bought about change in your life. That you have been clean or free from that old habit for so long. If you have the urge or calling to return. If you have to at times consciously resist the desire, or to respond as you once did. Then you are not yet, changed fully.


Another View
As a non-smoker. I've never smoked. Do you think I am attracted to smoking a cigarette, drawn to buy a packet? Do you think that I have to consciously resist the urge to light up and inhale? As a non-smoker, do you think, truly, that I am in anyway compelled to ignore other smokers and an urge to join them and smoke?

Hopefully you answered NO. That's right I have NO urge or inclination to smoke at all!!!

This is the level of change that we must move towards when releasing an old habit. There is no fight, struggle or resistance towards what we once may have been or how we used to respond. There is nothing to ignore!

So, how do we move from being free from the behaviour of being an alcoholic, to being completely free from the desire to want to have a drink, and devoid from needing a drink to pass your lips?

That's the level of change we must move towards and not be left at the fringe of being truly set free yet still tied to the old habit or addiction (one and the same, in my mind).


Free from Resisting
Here are some key points for coaching a client, or for you to personally move beyond this limiting level of change. Where change has occurred, but there is still the need at times, for conscious resistance (act of will power) to backsliding into the old habit.

Here are some helpful points to consider:

• Be aware of that you do have some ties to the old habit or attractant
• Congratulate yourself and celebrate the path towards full change that you have made so far
• Decide to take your change to the next level
• Do not accept that the level of change you have is the best you can have
• Do not surrender to accept the level of change you have so far as being the best you could expect
• Decide to apply yourself to being free at every level
• Take on the attitude of being completely free

FREE means:

• I do not have to ignore "it" for there is nothing to ignore


• I do not give any emotional energy to "it".


• I pay it NO mind


• It doesn't deserve my attention, emotional energy, focus or time


• I focus on what I am now not who I was then


• I believe that true freedom from "it" is a reality for me with out conditions or effort


• I believe that there is no appeal for me in the old behaviour


• There is no importance or value whatsoever, in the old behaviour for me. (none)


• I have stepped mentally away and there is now acceptable distance between myself and the old attractant


• That you can be present with the old attractant and there is no urge or desire for it at all


• I am at peace when faced with "it"


• There is no struggle, I am at rest.

If you're a Coach then this is the level of transformation you are to deliver to your client. If you are wanting the height, depth and breadth of change I am talking about, then take on the points I have listed above. You may also have to remove the beliefs of accepting a lower level of change.



In Closing
I'm not saying that, as a confirmed alcoholic, you can have a drink again and not be consumed with it as you once were. I understand that there are those who have very addictive qualities and also it appears a gene may be present that, in the right conditions, can take over rational thinking and decision making. What I am saying is, you can abstain from anything without having to be constantly battling with it in your mind. That this is possible for you irrespective of the addiction!

In the past I have had my own "demons" to battle with. Be they people who had hurt me, drugs or unacceptable behavioural habits. I know personally that it is possible to get to the point where you pay "no-mind" to it or them anymore.

Why? Because you are free from it/them in every way.

This is the level of change that resides beyond using your conscious will to maintain personal change. It is the place of total freedom.

If you are a coach, learn how to do this for your client. If you are tormented a little or a lot. Find a Coach who can assist you with this, or alternatively my contact details are on this blog site.



Remember: "That which we resist - persists."

Facing Failure Favourably

Without a doubt the most common quality high performers have amongst each other, irrespective of backgrounds or careers, is the innate ability to come back after a setback.

No matter how big, bad, awful or horrendous you may call it at the time. The ability for you to "come back" after a setback is paramount for long term success.

Failed once or twice in a professional context have you? Made a mistake or 3 in your lifetime, so far? Screwed up and thought you were a screw up? Made the same mistake more than once?

So... hands up if you've made a mistake? Keep your hands up if you've woken up beside a mistake! (Joke! - for some it may be true tho!)

Ok - seriously though. Doesn't it hurt a little or a lot when you make a mistake? After all, if making a mistake didn't hurt it wasn't that important to you - was it?

Personally I've made my fair share of mistakes, setbacks and general run of the mill, screw-ups!!! The good news is, I have many more to make!

Learning Requires It

The pathway to success demands of us to make mistakes and experience failure. It also demands of us to review our progress and make necessary changes to improve our performance. Our ability to overcome setbacks, as I mentioned earlier, determines the level of success we have or not.

This is pretty straight forward yet often hard to remember when we are caught in our awareness of having lost, failed or made a mistake. Especially if it was in the process of doing something we consider highly important to us. Be assured - no long term progress can be achieved without making mistakes and overcoming them.

Bouncing Back

Facing failure favourably requires a specific mind set which I want to highlight here the key features that must be present to bounce back from any setback. They are people who:

• Know that making mistakes is an integral part of the learning process.


• Know that learning from the mistake and making corrective changes ensures progress


• They are kind on themselves when they make a mistake (not being demeaning with themselves when using self-talk)


• Know that a failure is nothing more than a temporary experience


• That failure is not permanent


• That failure is specific to the task they have attempted and NOT an indication that other areas of their lives will be affected (They isolate the mistake)


• That failure or mistakes says nothing about them as a human being


• Their failure is nothing more than feedback based on what they have done and can be learnt from for continuous long term improvement to occur


• They are only momentarily ruffled, gutted or pissed off about making the mistake.


• They quickly make adjustments in behaviour or attitude to right the mistake


• They remain constantly focused on the long term goal they wish to achieve


• They know that making mistakes is part of the journey and positively embrace mistake making (Yahoo - look at how badly I messed up!)


• That failure is what they do not who they are. (Behaviour & Identity as separate entities yet connected)


• That their behaviour is an expression of who they are and does not define them as a person

Go over each of these points and identify which point/s you find difficult to accept. This exercise will help you identify where you are to focus your energy. Once you've identified the points that you struggle with begin to entertain that the point/s is a reality for you. Entertain the idea that this is possible and as a result of that, what else is possible for you if you were to embrace that point and any other I've listed. Keep considering how that point can benefit you in the midst of a setback scenario. Remember these are the qualities and principles that people who have had radical setbacks in their lives, use and as a result of using them, make unbelievable comebacks from. Rising above and beyond what may have intially appeared to be insurmountable odds. They are human. Just like you. And therefore, if they can use these points to make a come back then (guess what?) so can YOU!

No Better Time Than NOW

Don't wait any longer - identify what you need to add into your bounce back attitude and begin to act on it as a certainty for you. Notice how you are more resilient now.

If you new these principles and acted on them would past hurts have been easier to overcome? Should you face (and you will) more setbacks, screw-ups and mistakes in the near future. Will you be able to then, rise above them, and move on faster than usual?

Ok - enough said.

I assure you I have much more to say about this subject. For now you have enough to overcome the initial hurt of making mistakes or failing. The most common thing I see that stops people from moving on when they've screwed up and stay down longer than they need to. Is their ability to put themselves down and continue to ridicule themselves (time and time again) about having made a mistake, long after it has happened. Sadly, some have done this for a lifetime. Don't allow this to be you.

Follow the points I've listed above and share them with others.

Thumbs up for your continued progress when faced with failure, mistakes, setbacks and every day screw ups!

P.S. The sooner Organisation's celebrate mistakes and ensure staff have a safe environment where mistakes can be learnt from. The sooner we will overcome the "cover my own arse" attitude that many Businesses, Organisations and Government Departments have. All because they have created a culture where it is "unsafe" for staff or management to make, and own mistakes they've made!!!

Modern Day Fortune Telling

I wanted to have a poke and prod at a popular topic that I've found irratating (I have a few favourites). In fact I'm wanting to purposely tread on some toes and burn a sacred cow!

This cow is widely accepted, not just within our homes, schools and communities, but also strongly present in businesses. Resulting in a multi million dollar income for some.

So here goes...


Old Origins
We seem to, as a race of people, since the earliest of ages wanted to know about the meaning, origin and destination of many things. Like the stars, the planet, people, the future, the after life etc... and have embraced many different ways of gaining understanding or insight into these.

Look back through history and you will have stories of prophets, fortune tellers, readers of the stars providing many creative ways of trying to understand each other, or the situations we face. Especially the unknown and difficult to explain events.

My focus here is on how we have tried to understand each other. What will happen of me? Where am I headed in life? Who am I best suited to work with or marry? What career am I best suited for? Will I get on with everyone in the team. These and many other questions have been posed, and needing to be answered.

So over thousands of years we've come up with very creative answers by gazing into crystal balls, the reading of tea leaves, tarot cards, faces, palms, astrological signs and goodness knows what else. All in an attempt to try and answer those questions about who am I and how do I fit in with others.


In Modern Times
Well, with science and skepticism, and the modern day, 21st century world, we have moved on (some of us have). And we like to debunk these old methods of reading people and whether they are the perfect match or not. Right?

Wrong!

Instead, we have confidently replaced them with covert models. Psychological models that are supported by research and data and renamed them psychometric testing or analysis rather than tarot card reading!!!

We get a respected field like Psychology or Neuro Science (preferably people with a Ph.d, although in Myers Briggs case a Mother and Daughter will do) to condone the use of the "proven tool". To evaluate (guess!) one another and make determinants about how this person or that person will perform in the workplace. Sounds so very feasible and with so many doing it, it must be right. Right?

Wrong, Again!

If there has ever been an outstanding pseudo-science it would have to be the attempt to predict human behaviour, character, talent, attributes and the like, byway of an elaborate list of questions and answers. Presented in some well designed software package, which you purchase for thousands, in the hope your recruitment program will pick (like a rabbit out of a hat) the right person for the position you've advertised.

Human Resource departments, Recruitment Agencies, Counsellors, School Teachers (learning styles) the Police Recruiter and the Psychologist must be right. Right?

Wrong, Three Times! (3 strikes you're out)

When will we understand that a battery of questions, supported by a population cross-section analysis, does not qualify any "tool" to define whether a person is or is not capable. We have accepted without question that Myers Briggs, DISC, Personality Plus, Tetra Map, Meta-Programs, Psycho-geometrics, Psychometric Analysis and every other personality typing tool is useful for determining human character. (makes me wanna puke! If your tool isn't listed here, doesn't mean your not included - cause you are!).

As a sideline, I'm also targeting those Leadership typing inventories that are being used by Training Companies and HR Departments! Apparently to know your strengths and weaknesses in the hope that you'll develop into a great or more improved leader. What did they do a few hundred years ago to select a great leader? I wonder...?

Personality typing is at best as useful as reading today's horoscope in your local paper! Many are making large financial gains in promoting these typing tools just as the fortune tellers of long ago did, and still do today.

Great arguments support each typing inventory from people with lots of letters after their names gained from prestigious Universities. Quite impressive! And very credible (for some).

We spend billions of dollars on forecasting the weather. We have weather satellites monitoring it's every move. Meteorologists world wide extrapolating every possibility from the data collected, and still they can't predict the weather accurately!!!

Personality typing is less a science than meteorology and far more inaccurate as well.

You can no more depend on personality typing to predict "team-fit" in a recruitment process than you can in reading palms or throwing a dice. I love the story of an HR Manager, short listing CV's for a Managers position by throwing a dice and deciding that way, which applicants will progress to the next stage. Because he only wanted those to he employed who have "luck" on their side!

Put In Context

Personality typing is in my opinion modern day fortune telling. Use it with caution or for a laugh! Use it as an indication how some one MAY respond in a given context. Use it as 1 spoke in a multi spoked wheel of recruitment - never as a determinant of whether a person gets the position or not.

Get very good at knowing who you are searching for if your recruiting for a specific position and refuse to evaluate "team-fit" by using a personality typing tool. If you know from experience who you are wanting to recruit you wont have a need for a "best-guess" tool like psychometric analysis.

I haven't got enough space to fully explain the in's and out's of the point I'm wanting to make here. If I have gotten you to think more about getting to know people and putting less trust in your typing tool, then I have achieved what I wanted to in this blog.

I'll write more on this topic in later articles and because I love a good BBQ - I've got more sacred cows to burn in the near future!!!

A Word of Warning for Coaches:

Sadly, the overplaying of typing evaluations is seeping into Corporate Coaching.

Beware!

Get to know your client. Treat them as the unique human being they are. Allow your client to be who they are and not some pathetic profile you've bought into. Coach them to their needs and not to a predetermined evaluation.

Self Esteem versus Self Image

In an earlier article I entitled - Mirror mirror on the wall. I wrote quickly in the opening paragraphs of that blog, about looking at yourself in the mirror, and if you responded with a "...oh yuck.." or "...god I'm getting old..." When looking at yourself in the mirror, this was, in my opinion, typically a sign of low self esteem.

Could it be, that it isn't low self esteem, and actually, just a comment, that you're not happy with how you look at the present time? And therefore, be more about your self image and not your self esteem.

Yes it could be, is the short answer.

What I have found more often than not is, when we reject self: our facial appearance, height, weight, intelligence etc... I have found, that more often than not, with those I am coaching, it is linked more with low self esteem than with healthy self esteem.

There is nothing wrong with not being happy about the appearance of another wrinkle on your forehead or loss of hair and a receding hairline or added pounds as you stand on the scales. There is nothing wrong with wanting to renovate the vehicle they move through the world in (their body). The key to whether it is or is not linked to low self esteem is this.

Do you still believe strongly, that you are of value and importance with or without your looks?

If you do not believe you are of worth without your looks, because of the way you appear, then it is low esteem we are dealing with.


It's Unconditional Stupid!
Healthy self esteem is unconditional. (read that a few times and get it into your being)

That is - whether you are 20 pounds overweight or lost your hair, or got another unwanted wrinkle. Do you believe you are of value or do you attach specific conditions that need to be met, for you to be of value?

Do you say "...When I've lost those pounds, or wear make up, or have that hair treatment, then I'll be of value?" These are conditions, and self esteem is not about conditions. It is about valuing yourself completely without conditions attached.

You do not have to do anything at all, to have a healthy level of self esteem.

Click on my video blog and bring this message alive!

As I mentioned in my previous blog, self esteem is a gift you give to yourself. It's a gift you were given at birth and it's up to you to claim it. Claim what? I am saying that you are a valuable human being and it is your birth right. Are you willing to claim your birth right? That you are indeed a valuable human being? Here and now, without having to "do" anything!

To value yourself unconditionally! You do not have to wait for something to change or something to happen. You can give yourself permission to value yourself unconditionally - now!


It's Ok to Renovate
I've been asked during a training on self esteem "...does that mean we should not have cosmetic surgery...?" No! is my instant response. In fact, I'm all for you doing whatever you want to do to improve your appearance. The question I have is this " Do you value yourself unconditionally with or without it?

"Go to the gym, go for a run, wear make up, buy nice clothes". All this is fine with me - BUT, if you don't do it, are you still of value as a human being? That's the link.

What I have found is, that people who have healthy self esteem will care for them selves because they want to express the inner value they have of themselves, in all they do. So they take care of themselves. Have a look at people who pay no attention to thier appearance or their personal health and hygiene. You will find low self esteem exists there and you will also find this to be true at the other end of the scale with those who have to have all the looks, the body and clothes to match. They have an obsession with looking good to hide their low self esteem which birth all kinds of personal insecurities.

How do I know? Because they tell me that they feel less of a person when they don't look a certain way.

Do you get it now? Does it makes more sense to you now? (I hope so)


I wanted to clarify this point, which I wasn't clear about in my earlier blog on self esteem.

I hope that clears it up for you. And Michael, thanks for the feedback which generated this blog reply.

Stop the Fire Fighting

I want to get a quick run on the blog update board with this article.

So here goes...this wont take long...

• Are you tired of having staff come to you with problems?


• Are you tired of straining your brain to find solutions for problems staff have?


• Do you want to save time in dealing with day to day problems?


• You want staff to think for themselves?


• Have you had enough of being the source of all knowledge, and being drained by the constant flood of staff knocking on your door for answers?


• Want a quick and proven answer?

Read carefully...

When a staff member comes to you with a problem say to them this.

"What 2 solutions have you got for this problem?"

Did you get that?

Here's the same thing with a slight variation. Make an announcement to your staff like the following:

"Whenever you want to present me with a problem that you have identified, you are to bring with you, no less than 2 answers that are serious solutions to the problem you've identified".

So there it is.

The greatest time saver you'll ever put in place. It'll make your life a lot easier. Your staff will learn to think for themselves and wont that be great!

Some of the benefts Managers have shared with me, as a result of having introduced this simple approach, are:

• I have more time for things I need to spend time on.


• My staff are no longer knocking down my door with problems.


• The staff are actually thinking for themselves now.


• Staff have said they have a greater level of confidence in their own decision making.

Well it's up to you now. Will you make fire fighting your occupation or will you empower your staff to think for themselves?

Give this simple technique a go and let me know how you've found it. I'm confident you'll be pleasantly surprised.