Hardwired Habits?

The chains of habit are generally too small to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.
Samuel Johnson (1709-1784)

Habits are an interesting thing. We form them gradually over time from the way we consistently respond to the world around us. As they form and become fixed they then begin to define who we are and how we react. Those we have come to know over time, are able to recognise us by our predictable responses that they've learnt from their experiences of being with us in a variety of situations.

They're sneaky critta's, habits. Habits, in their early formative stages have to learn to habitually and consistently respond in a specific way. Then, once you've mastered your response (remember this can be positive or negative), it becomes almost hard-wired and you lose conscious awareness that you behave in a certain way, consistently. That is to say, the habit slips from your consciousness.

Forming Habits
There are 2 ways that I'm familiar with, how habits are formed:

One is you have to develop your habit response consciously till you get very good at it.
The second way of forming a habit is that you learnt it without realising it.

How do you do this?

Well... you are exposed to it on a regular basis (usually as a young child) and it is considered an acceptable and appropriate way of behaving. You don't question whether this way of responding is good or not - you just do it cause that's how people you know (and often respect or love), behave. And there you have it, a well formed, non-conscious habit, alive and well on planet earth. Oh, by the way, if you've got a well formed and mature one, it's highly likely you don't know you have it, but everyone else knows you have it!!!

Habits can empower you, assist you in maximising your potential, grow your relationships, enhance your days, or destroy everything you consider precious. Habits define you and people know you by them. Whether you are trustworthy and honorable or a habitual liar or thief. Your habits form the reputation that you will have around town. Your habits will speak for themselves and be more convincing than any eloquent speech you offer. People will remember you by your habits and not by your words. They can be as simple as an idiosyncratic finger twitch or a tapestry of behaviours that result in the destruction of many lives.

Reflection Time
Here's are few questions to prod you, to consider what habits you have:

• What habits are you aware of that either enhance your life or limit it?


• Which habits do you have that enhance your relationships and which one's are destroying them?


• Do you notice a familiar pattern emerging in your life i.e. employment, schooling, relationships that would indicate a cycle of behaviour that's forming?


• Are a number of people giving you similar feedback about the way you behave or communicate and you're ignoring it or brushing it off (either good or bad)?


• How will you find out about those habits you don't know you have?

Habits, we all have them. They direct and determine our level of success.

Samuel Johnson says in his quote that I opened with, that they are "... too strong to be broken". This is often how they appear to be. That they capture you and compel you to respond in a given manner. Are they too strong to be broken? In my opinion no, they most definitely are not. They were formed over time with practice and diligent effort. They can also be dissolved in a similar manner (and in less time than it took to form them).

How to do that is beyond this short blog. I will say however, that you'll find many of the answers to change your habits, in my earlier writings i.e. you get what you focus on, consistently constant, self esteem are just 3 of many articles found on this blog site that will give you an insight into how to rid yourself of habits that are destructive or irritating you. (...or those around you!)

Take a Look at Yourself!
An old cliche I have used in many trainings, and refers to habit awareness goes like this "... if enough people say you're an idiot - you probably are..." Feedback is the food of champions and is a key step in changing or transforming any habit. Your level of willingness to entertain the idea that you have a habit that needs to change is the first stage of releasing a habit and breaking a bond that some say "...is too hard to break".




"First we make our habits, then our habits make us".
Charles C Noble

The Corporate Lethal Weapon

There's a secret self-defence program you'll find in the meeting rooms of corporate businesses and in the morning tea rooms of every big or small employer across our country (and yours). It's not a martial art, nor is it an Olympic sport. It's not taught at the local gym, yet is present in the majority of homes you'll call on. Once learnt you become a lethal weapon, making Mel Gibson look like a marshmallow of sorts and Bruce Lee a 1970's martial arts geriatric.

You'll destroy lives and the potential of those around you without even lifting a finger! You'll be skilled in fighting multiple opponents, whether they are standing around the photocopier or speaking to you in the Executive boardroom.

So what is this lethal weapon of maximum, human destruction?

A Trained Assassin
The lethal weapon, is in fact a skill. A skill, being a mixed blend of many language systems and negative reinforcing psychological loops (which I will explain in a later article). It's where we've learnt the ability to attack and destroy one another by using scathing, derogatory and degrading comments at another person or a group of people.

When you've become highly skilled at this Art, you have the ability to find offence at the smallest of remarks and escalate it to the 10th degree, to eliminate the person your speaking with using multiple unsolicited remarks aimed strategically at their most vulnerable points (usually a combination of personal and behavioural inadequacies) to cut them down to size. If not permanently then momentarily. As a race of people we are exceptional at doing this to one another. We seem to be natural at destroying one another with our words - as if we were trained, verbal assassins.

I am in awe of how well some of those I have come across in the corporate sector are able to do this to one another, and NOT able to recognise their level of absolute mastery, at destroying lives of those around them, with their tongues, via their scathing remarks.

No Confusion - Please!

Please don't confuse this with the communication skill of mediation or conflict resolution, as that is a specific communication process with clear guidelines in the hope of achieving a positive outcome for all parties. In the lethal weapon style of communication, there are no rules, nor is there a positive outcome for all parties. Only 1 outcome is achieved and pursued, which is the preferred speedy elimination, of the person you are speaking to and your own exaltation, by any means possible - so that you win!

It's about winning and being right and to hell with anything else. Paying no heed to the effect it has on the relationship with the other person or the consideration of any long term consequences. It requires you to see yourself as being totally right (irrespective of the evidence showing the contrary) and no need to reflect on what you have said (let alone ever think there was a need to apologise).

Remember - it's about dominance and winning. It's that primal animal instinct to kill, maime and destroy, at it's corporate best!

• Have you come across a person like this in your meetings, corridors or morning tea rooms?

• Have you had the pleasure of being chopped up verbally by a person with this skill set and left in emotional ruins, while trying to exit the staff meeting with some dignity?

• Have you said something ,with no intent to cause harm of any kind. And found yourself backed up onto the boardroom ropes by a barage of verbal blows, stunned and confused at how a simple innocent communication, could be taken so badly?

• Do you recognise yourself as being the person who is the skilled Corporate Lethal Weapon I've described above? (highly unlikely!).

If you have - then return for my next article on how to successfully defend yourself against the Corporate Lethal Weapon and how you can transform yourself, if it's you - that's causing all the grief in the workplace .

Consistantly Constant

This is another article to add to the series on I've been writing on mastery. The last posting I wrote was on how practice alone, is not enough. This article follows on from that one.

A brief reminder for you. Although I use the term "mastery" , it can easily be replaced with the words success, goal getting, achievement, champion, leadership or management etc....

Read the article from your perspective and use the word that best suits your interpretation of the word "mastery"



Add to Your Practice

So you're working your way towards being exceptional at what you do. Whether it's a new sporting activity, fitness regime or business venture, it doesn't really matter. You, wanting to achieve and practicing alone, isn't enough. A key factor in your long term success, is you're ability to be consistent over time.

Consistency is a critical component if you're wanting to master a specific endeavor. To put it plainly - you must apply yourself regularly to your pursuit and do it without deviation over a long period of time. In doing so you will have a key element in mastering it.

What I have seen from watching many people, is they start out with a hiss and a roar! Throwing themselves and all they have at it, to be good at what they are passionate about (at least at the start) and over time, they fizzle out completely. They have lots of energy in the early stages. (I call this the honeymoon stage of learning). Blinded by their initial enthusiasm, not realising the need for them to apply themselves in such a way, that they can see it through over the long term. The early signs of fizzling out that I've seen over the years, are a loss of drive to regularly attend to class, training or the standards they set for themselves.

As a former Fitness Centre owner this was a regular observation of mine. People start out training with all the best intentions in the world to achieve their goals of weight loss or weight gain etc... The common theme for many of these fitness enthusiasts is they begin to fade from their original attendance of 3-4 visits a week, to an infrequent level of 1-2 times every 2 weeks or so. Slowly but surely, they regress to not attending at all.

Consistency Applied

Consistency is a quality necessary to master parenting, leadership, business or long term transformational change etc... Parents who are inconsistent with what they say and do in the raising of their children will teach their children that stick ability is not important and consistency is an unimportant quality for personal long term success in their education or maximising their chances of future employment.

Leaders who are not consistent with what they say and do will be teaching those they lead that they do not mean what they say and that they will change their standards whenever it suits them and deviate from what they say they stand for, when and if, their mood so chooses.

A business allowed to operate without consistency of practice, will lose customers and their place in a competitive global market, because they can not be relied on, to honor their company service statement, vision or mission.

Those of you who seek a positive change in your life will not experience it until you embrace the change you want - constantly. Think of those who wish to change a habit like smoking, drinking or eating less, to name but a few. Your success in achieving a transformational change will be the direct result of your consistent embrace of the change you wish to make, over a long period of time. After all, the best indicator that change has occurred, is not found in your words but in your actions.

Masters and champions have mastered the ability to apply themselves to their pursuit diligently. They are not easily swayed nor are they willing to excuse themselves from attending to their study, training, practice etc... because they know the importance of being consistent.

When the Going Gets Tough

Are there times when they may wish to take a day off, go back to being the way they once were, to not attend class at school or turn up at their weekly training? Yes, they do experience this.

How do they respond though?

By remembering what it is they are in pursuit of. They recall their highest intention. They renew their commitment. They regain their focus. And apply themselves to the long term journey of mastery.

One specific group of people who know the importance of consistancy are athletes. They know that to be a champion in their chosen sport they must constantly turn up for training and practice and consistantly out perform their competitors. Being inconsistant is not an option to an athloete who wishes to dominate thir sport.

Are you willing to recognise it yet, if not already? The need for you to be consistent and it's vital place in mastery? Are you willing to commit yourself to the persistent commitment of applying yourself to mastering what it is that you are wanting to achieve. Whether it is your need to save money for a home mortgage, lose weight to be a slimmer and trimmer you or grow a successful business. You must be consistent.

Consider this message seriously. Be consistent and enjoy the natural outflow that constancy brings to your success. The choice as always is yours. Decide the level you are willing to be consistent and that will set the ceiling, to the degree of mastery you achieve.

Practice is NOT Enough

Congratulations!

You'd started to learn the guitar early and you'd been casually playing for 2 years. At 10 years of age you showed some natural ability in playing the instrument. Mum and Dad enrolled you to receive professional, one on one lessons, twice a week totalling 3 hours of tuition per week. You were an enthusiastic and committed student and you religiously attended your lessons without missing a single session and you made very good progress. You also did your own private practice at home, in your room. And you practiced playing your guitar an additional 5 hours per week.

At 15 years of age you were enrolled in a prestigious guitar school where you received 4 hours of specialist lessons per day (as well as other academic studies) for the next 3 years till you were 18 years old, where a selection was made to determine the elite guitarist's at your school, who would receive a full scholarship for continued higher guitar instruction and a guaranteed professional guitar career is a near certainty.

Let's have a look at some of your figures:

• You've been playing seriously since the age of 10 and had committed 8 years in total to playing your guitar so far.


• Over that 8 year period, you had spent a total of 2,080 hours of additional private self- directed practice, aside from your formal classes and lessons. Congratulations!

Did you make the selection to secure that much admired scholarship? - No, you did not!

Why?

The difference between you and those guitarists who reached the elitest level and selection for the scholarship you sought, was not in the years you spent practicing, nor was it in your consistent attendance to your regular, frequent lessons. As all your other class mates did just the same as you in that respect. The difference that made the difference was in the total hours you spent in your own self-directed practice versus the hours they committed to practicing, outside of the usual required lessons.

The specific difference is they spent as much as 100% more time practicing the guitar than you did! That's right, they accumulated more than 4,000 hours than you. Even if you wanted to catch up to those elite students you couldn't. They are now too far ahead of you, based on the time they have accummulated. It's just too hard for you to close the gap on them now.

This is a consistent indicator that separates the elite student and the above average student. Both are gifted and show a natural affinity to playing the guitar (or any other pursuit i.e. sport or business etc). Both are passionate about what they are learning. Both commit to their scheduled lessons. They do not however, do the same amount of additional practice, over and above what is required of them.

Do More - Get More!

So there it is - if you want to be great at anything - you must do more than attend the required classes or lessons expected of you. Also, you must commit additional time and effort to practice, over and above your scheduled practice sessions with your teachers, instructors or coaches etc... The amount of additional self-directed practice you are able to commit to, is entirely up to you.

Be very aware, that it is this component, that will ultimately determine your level of success. Even if you show you have natural talent. Natural talent will get you recognised but will not ensure your long term success. Your natural god-given talent, will amount to nothing, when compared with an equally talented student (in fact, a student with less natural talent than you, will achieve more) who is willing to put in the "extra" hours of practice. It appears the more time you spend in self-directed practice the better.

This may, depending on the activity, require you to spend time researching, physically training, watching recordings, reading, evaluating your technique and developing mental toughness training or receiving feedback etc...

Effort & Time Required

It's totally up to you. As I mentioned in a previous blog. Mediocre effort will never result in maximum results. Going to your scheduled weekly practices will never be enough for you to realise your potential. The difference that makes the difference is the "extra" self-directed practice you do.

How much you do - is up to you! It will ultimately determine the level of expertise you attain.

The Need for Obsession

If you want to waste your hard earned money, spend it on attending conferences and listening to some international speaker, buy their numerous DVD's and books promoting the message that you need to seek a health approach to life through achieving a work-life balance!

This topic has got to be one of the best lies promoted by so called, motivational speakers and personal wellness guru's. To actually think that personal success, excellence and achievement of the highest kind, can actually be achieved by living a balanced life between your passion and the other needy demands of life. Some of these needs requiring attention are, family, your health, education, fitness, saving for a home and retirement and the list goes on. Apparently the message is for you to balance your life in such a way that you achieve a delicate balance, between work and your personal life demands.

Wake Up & Smell The Coffee

Let's get real!!!

Show me where the highest level of excellence has been achieved in any endeavor and the person who pursued it had a balanced life. Study these people carefully. You will find that they all had a never before seen obsession that drove them to achieve results that exceeded all who came before them and the many that would attempt to pursue them long after they had retired. maximum results requires maximum effort and time. It requires an obsession that consumes your every thought, muscle fibre and cell you have within you. This is the level of commitment at the highest level. Yes, there are those who achieve a level of excellence by committing themselves to balancing their demands of life. Yes, they do achieve (to some degree) - No, they do not achieve the heights of achievement that awaits those who are willing to make the sacrifices that a passionate, obsessive nature requires.

Forget the lie of living a balanced life if you ultimately wish to lead the field, make leading edge advancements or set records that have never been heard of before. Average commitment results in average achievement. Maximum commitment, energy, focus and an unrelenting obsession to succeed. Results in a level of human accomplishment that all will admire and few are willing to commit to.

Onto The Summit

It's easier to believe that champions get where they have by seeking a work-life balance. This is an out and out lie. Sir Edmond Hillary did not become famous for climbing half way up Everest and turning around and returning home. No, he went all the way to the summit with his mate Tensing. They are both remembered for all eternity, due to their compulsion to go all the way to the top of Everest. Like him, high achievers think, eat, drink and dream what they want and must pursue. They read, train, study strategies and focus on what they want and do it with an unchastend relentlessness, that I can only explain as an obsession.

So easy to think that the Olympic champions, the billionaires or revolutionaries who turn around a nation all did it while maintaining a lovely work-life balance. They most certainly did not!

Do what you must do to be the very best you can be. Each of us will put limits on what we are willing to commit to. That is fine with me. I understand the need for many to achieve work-life balance, however, under no circumstances are you to believe that maximum results can be achieved by mediocre efforts.

Only A Willing Few

It's a road trod by but a few, and the rest of the world will count you as an enigma of sorts. For you are to them a possessed being with no regard for anything else other than that which you pursue. Some will call you a selfish shit and much more. And this is how it is and it will never be any different for those who set their sights on all time greatness. Show me a man or woman who has achieved greatness of the highest order and I will show you a person who was extreme in their every effort, with a laser like focus, like no other before them.

Anyone who says you can achieve maximum results with mediocre efforts has likely never achieved anything of any real significance in their own life. Or even worse, they have, and are now promoting an approach that they never used themselves in the pursuit of their previous success.

Here's to your obsession in being the best you can be and to hell with your work-life balance!

I know that few will accept this message and I make no apologies for it.

Pictures of those who know what I am taklking about here:- NZ All Blacks Rugby Team, Valeri Villi Olympic Shot Put Champion and Sir Edmond Hillary & Tensing on Mt Everest - obsessive qualities all of them!!!

Happy Sheets

For quite some years now I've been delivering a wide variety of trainings both here in NZ and internationally. I have at times, been asked to have those in attendance to complete a training feedback form. These are usually given out at the end of the training and filled out prior to them leaving and are handed in as they exit the training room. They are then passed onto the organisations training assessors who asked for the training to be delivered. These feedback forms are usually used as an indication as to whether the training was of any significant value to those who attended and the organisation who paid for its delivery. I'm sure most of you would have had something similar handed to you at the end of a training, if you've attended a corporate training recently.

Are these feedback sheets of any real value at all? That's the question I have asked myself over the years - right up to the present time. Do they have any real credence and value at all or not? That's what I'm going to cover in this blog.

A Scenario

Let's say the HR Department and more specifically the HR Professional Development Advisers (or similar) want to asses if the training they have contracted in is worthwhile, appropriate, effective and achieves the desired goals for those staff in attendance.

So... they devise a feedback form with questions on it like:

• Was the training you received relevant to your job?
• Was the delivery style of the trainers suited for your preferred way of learning?
• Were you engaged by the presenters?
• Would you encourage other staff to attend this training in the near future?

The questions may be answered on a 1-7 continuum. Scoring a 1 for very poor delivery and a 7 for an excellent delivery.

I'm sure you have the idea now so let's move on.

The Happy Sheet Problem!

In my own opinion these feedback sheets are an absolute waste of time - why? (I'll try to keep my answer to a minimum).

1. The forms are devised by people who have likely never made a presentation of any real note in their lives! They have no idea what is or is not an effective training or how to measure one!


2. Those attending the training have little or no knowledge themselves, on how to effectively benchmark a trainer and their delivery style.


3. Those receiving and interpreting the feedback forms never attended the training themselves.


4. Filling out the forms truthfully is limited by the degree of expertise by those in attendance. Their inability to judge what is a good presentation or not.


5. If the trainer was in fact "poor" they realise that their comments could negatively impact the trainer and prefer to soften the blow by raising their feedback score in favor of the "poor" trainer!


6. The trainer could use a "high" emotional close which positively impacts on the participants ability to give the presenter a "real" score and scores them instead on how well they finished the days presentation and they score them high.


7. The feedback forms results are twisted by those interpreting them to suit the outcome they want, based on whether they actually like or dislike the trainer themselves.


8. The timing of the feedback form is at the point of having just received the learning without any time for actual integration of the learning. Any real application of the learning and its effectiveness is weeks away yet.


9. When the trainer knows what they're being measured against in the happy sheet all they do is meet those requirements, point out tactfully how they have done that for the group, yet not necessarily covered any of the core competencies needed for the group in attendance!


10. If they have been on similar training before, the participant may score the presenter and content low, based on this and have missed what was presented that they didn't know, which would have made the difference to this person. Who only listened for what they knew and not what they didn't know.


11. If those in attendance are trainers or tutors, they will likely give feedback that is based on their preferred presentation likes and dislikes, which may or may not be accurate due to their personal bias.


12. If the participant has a bias for activities, sweets, handouts, multi-media, colored pens, music, culture, introductions, workbook style of manuals etc... and they are or are not available then the trainer is scored down. Which may not have been an indication that the trainer wasn't good or bad at all



13. The participants are asked to fill out the form at the end of the training when they want to get away home as soon as possible. Resulting in a simplistic and rushed feedback result by those filling them out.



14. The Organisation or HR Department set a standard to determine if the training is good or bad not taking into count all the variables that are not recorded that directly influence a persons training experience and the score they give at the end of the day i.e. room temperature, external noise, quality of food at breaks, availability of their preferred hot drink, lunch provided or not and the quantity available, seats comfortable or not, car parking location and cost, ease of finding the room, stairs to climb, access to be able to have a smoke in their breaks and ease of access to toilets etc... (all of these factors need to be considered as they affect the score which can negatively affect the trainers score)

A Different Approach

I've listed here some important factors that need to be present for a more accurate approach in measuring a trainings effectiveness. I have met NO training assessment that has utilised these points to determine whether a training is effective or not. At best they may have 1 of the points I've listed below!

1. Have an assessor sit in on the entire training, who is skilled and knowledgeable in training delivery and who has an established training delivery benchmark template from which they are able to effectively provide feedback based on the behavioural benchmarks specifically set for training delivery.


2. Use a benchmark criteria that is sensory/behaviourally based assessment of key core competencies of training delivery i.e. engagement, rapport, platform skills, vocal variety that are also relevant to the content and the room the training is delivered in (i.e. A small room with no break-out space, will radically limit the ability for activity based delivery as would an audience seated in a lecture room ampi-theatre setting. How can you accurately judge this trainer against another in a different training environment?).



3. A pre and post training evaluation is taken by those attending to determine the degree of learning that has taken place. What did they know about the subject prior to attending and how much knowledge & skill development have they gained after the training and weeks later.


4. Make sure those interpreting the results actually are highly skilled trainers themselves.



5. The assessor is to have no conflict of interest in whether the trainer is scored well or not. That is, the assessor has no personal gain from scoring the trainer high or low.



6. A longitudinal study over 2, 5 and 7 weeks is done on what the participants have taken away and implemented from the training and this is scored to determine a post training result.


7. A percentage feedback score minimum of 85% to be set once the benchmarks have been established for the training. The 85% score is to be achieved as an average, in each of the core benchmark competencies that are relevant to the content delivered. Be aware that the scoring of the trainer and the core competencies need to change, should the training content and venue change. The use of the same feedback sheet for all trainings and trainers within the organisation is a sure sign, that the system being used is of a poor standard, in assessing accurately, whether a training is or is not effective.

Ok. There you have it.

Happy sheets, although popular and used by many organisations, in the hope they will gain insight to the overall result of a training delivered. It is highly unlikely it is accurate or has any real depth of quality. I do know, that this can be greatly improved by making the changes I have offered above and many more. My guess is that very few will be willing to make the required changes, and will continue making many of the mistakes I have listed in the Happy Sheet problems listing.

If you want to get your training assessment right and achieve no less than 85% plus satisfaction success rate by your participants, with your professional development training - email me: colin@ignition.org.nz

Life's Overwhelming C's

Here's a presentation I've given to a number of different groups. The C's model is also an excellent guide for Coaching. Let me know what you think.

There are 3 C's that we need to be aware of that can strongly influence us on a daily basis. So much so that we can not directly have control over them. However, there is a single "C" that can rectify the difficulties of the 3C's. I'm going to present to you a brief overview of them here. Firstly you need to know what the 3C's are and then the "C" that brings a powerful solution, so here goes...

Beyond Our Control - 3C's

Circumstances:

You've likely had a raft of circumstances float in and out of your life haven't you? Circumstances that were out of your control. Circumstances that were unexpected, unplanned for and a complete interruption. Where they come from I'm not sure. Yet come they do. At anytime and in many different ways. If we could plan for them then that's bonus. Unfortunately we more often than not, can not plan for those set of circumstances that can rock our boat or even sink it!

Life throws circumstances at us on a daily basis, where we must either move with them or against them. For some, these circumstances can seem so very unfair and for others it can seem that a set of circumstances strung together resulted in a freak stroke of good or bad luck. That if anyone of the sequences of circumstances had been different the result would have been radically different also.

How we face those difficult times will often define us and require us to draw on our internal strength to ride it out and bounce back from the setbacks that circumstances can bring into our lives. More often than not, we have no direct power of the circumstances that force themselves into our lives.

Change:

If it's one thing you can count on - it's change. Everything changes. Nothing stays still. We are constantly changing either in part or whole. Change is as certain to happen to us as we can be certain that the sun will rise and set in the evening. Change is a universal law that we must learn to navigate through and work with. Change happens at work. Change happens at home and change happens to each of us at a cellular level. Change is certain, it is on its way to you now. You can be assured that change will happen and when it does, how well, will you be able to move with it? You're ability to work with, through and even create change will be a defining point in your life. Change in relationships, character, organisations, leadership is always a certainty. What is not certain is how well you will manage yourself as change happens.

More often than not, we have no direct power over the changes that happen in our lives.

Chaos:

What do you get when you have a day or week of sudden circumstances and changes come into your life? Where all is happening to you and you are on the end of multiple circumstances and changes, happening to you. Being overwhelmed with "unexpected everythings" is not a nice place to be. At some stage we become seriously overwhelmed with it all. It gets to be too much and chaos is the result!

A life of chaos is not good! Yet sadly some do live lives that are chaotic. Chaos is an accumulation of circumstances and changes each merging together to create an overwhelm. Making business or home, a living hell. We may not have direct power over circumstances and change that happen to us and the resulting chaos that enters our lives, yet there is a solution.

Control Comes Through Choice

Choice: Circumstances, change and chaos are more often than not, beyond our control. They are outside of our boundary of personal control and at best can possibly be influenced, yet not entirely controlled. Those "unexpected anythings" can occur at anytime. They can happen while driving down the road or crossing a busy intersection. While out shopping in your local Mall or while speaking on the phone. It can happen anytime and anywhere. That's one of life's certainties, that circumstance, change and chaos will happen to you, if they have not already.

So how do we rise above these universal certainties? How do we ride them out or even turn them to our advantage?

The answer is the power of personal choice.

Although we can not determine what will happen to us at any given time we can choose how we will respond to it. We have a personal power that allows us to choose how we will think, feel, behave or convey to others whether the 3C's will or will not affect you. We can not determine the "effect" the 3C's will have on us, the good-news is, we can definitely choose whether they have an "affect" on us.

Decision making is at the heart of making excellent choices in how to respond to the 3C's. We have more choice now than at any other time in our planets history. Internally we equally have an unlimited array of choices we can make on how to respond to all the variations of the 3C's, that life can throw at us.

Some of the choices that we can make when faced with 1 or more of the 3C's can be summarised as being:

• "No matter what life offers me, I have made the choice that I will always be ok."


• "I own me and therefore I own my ability to choose how I respond".


• "I choose to have faith in my ability to rise above any setback that comes into my life"

These 3 sentence stems are an insight into what lays at the very heart of those who successfully face the 3C's and overcome them. Exercise your ability to choose your responses to the 3C's. Practice your powers of personal choice when dealing with small setbacks brought into your life by circumstance, change or chaos. Learn to make effective choices through small situations you face, and in doing so, overtime, it will become a habit that will serve you well when one or more for the 3C's come to visit.

Wishing you the very best in applying your powers of choice to the 3C's.

You can email me at: colin@ignition.org.nz

Presentation Power

It's probably long overdue, that I write a brief blog on presentation skills. Yes, I too have been to presentations made by people who are deemed worthy to listen to (and often are), yet have no idea how to make an effective presentation to an audience. Many of you know my training background so I'm not going to go into that.

Many of you also know my presentation style and experience from conference keynote speaker to corporate training consultant, workshop presenter and trainer of trainers. So I'm not going to go into that either. (You just did Col!).

I'm tired of listening to presenters, especially those presenters that are deemed "leaders in their field" and charge exorbitant rates, for what is nothing more, than a shitty presentation. So I'm going to list all the things you need to do, so you too, can - BE JUST LIKE THEM!!!

That's right, do all of these things (I'll stop at 21) and you'll be the best shitty international, leading edge presenter, there is!!

How to Make A Powerful Presentation

1. Arrive late to your presentation and be completely phased by the fact that you're late. And make some pitiful excuse why you were late! ("...traffics bad this time of morning...").


2. Have no idea how the technical gear you need to use works. How to plug in your laptop to the projector, use a microphone, set sound levels and lighting. Or even open your PowerPoint presentation to begin with!


3. You ask a person in the audience if they can help you setup. Put the chairs out, your manuals and colored pens.


4. When you're introduced to the audience by the MC, correct the MC and let them know how they got some of the details about you wrong. That way you look great because you make others wrong.


5. Stand in front of the projector that is displaying your presentation on the screen behind you. This way you'll have part of your slide projecting onto you ,which will really bring your presentation alive.


6. Walk randomly back and forth across the stage or sway from side to side while standing in 1 place as though you're on a ship at sea. This is an excellent hypnotic induction technique you're using and when they do go to sleep you'll blame them. Not realising you're actually boring them to tears!


7. Make sure your PowerPoint presentation has heaps of words on each slide and preferably use a font size that requires you to squint your eyes to see the mass of words projected onto the screen.


8. Use graphs that can not be seen clearly and say these words "...you probably can't see this graph.." and continue to speak to the group using information from the graph.


9. Use a consistent drone in your voice and minimise any form of vocal variety.


10. When the opportunity presents itself, sound as though what you're saying is the least bit interesting to you. You must also demonstrate how this presentation is an interruption to you doing your favourite activity i.e. gardening or reading a book. (being anywhere else but there!)


11. Read your slides to the audience, word for word. Under no circumstances are you to deviate from what you have written. This is an excellent strategy, to ensure you're like so many other of those shitty presenters. (apparently, if you're from across the seas and do this you here in NZ you must be an expert. So no one says you were crap out of respect for your international reputation!)


12. Use no sequenced line in, one at a time transitions, available to you in PowerPoint. Have all the writing that you have on each slide appear, all at once. Overwhelming them with you're brilliant knowledge of the subject.


13. Under no circumstances are you to allow any form of interaction or engagement between yourself and the audience. While doing this, make sure you keep the audience fixed to their seats without any opportunity to move about or stretch. After all, why would they want to, you're so damn interesting!


14. Lose your place and go searching through your notes for 1-2 minutes to find out where you are in your presentation while ignoring the audience. Make sure you mumble under your breath "...I new this would happen..." - forgetting that your microphone is on.


15. Make 2 or 3 derogatory jokes about religion, politics, gender, race or sexually explicit acts with animals. Ignore the fact that no one laughs. After all, the audience is not as smart as you are, when it comes to appropriate comedy and humor.


16. Insert inappropriate cartoon slides that will hopefully offend a large cross section of the audience. Cartoons that are best used are ones's that have serious religious overtones and guranteed to offend a good cross section of your audience. Naturally you'll think the murmuring of disgust from the audience is in fact a sign they love what you're message.


17. When someone arrives a little late. Make an immediate example out of them and embarrass them in front of the audience. Reminding them, of how disrespectful it is that they've arrived late to your powerful presentation which you've taken days to prepare.


18. Should you have someone ask you a question about the topic you are presenting on. Make them wrong, as soon as you can. This will ensure you're not interrupted again, allowing you to boldly move on through your 79 slides in the remaining 60 minutes you've got, before finishing.


19. Near the end of your presentation insert references to your expo stand you have at the conference and your latest, DVD, mp3 recordings, t-shirts and books you are selling. Offer them a discount if they rush out at the end of your presentation, and you'll (lucky them!) sign copies for the 1st 10 people who buy your latest book today.


20. Knowing the exorbitant fee the conference organisers are paying for your 90 minute presentation. You you are to provide added value, by running over the time allocated for you. The best length of time to run over is 20 minutes, and ignore anyone who gets up and walks out, as you know that they do not appreciate the fact that you're offering extra value by going over the allotted time.


21. Finally. When people meet you after your presentation. Be rude, ignore all interested people who want to meet you. At all times you are to remain aloof and indignant, seperating yourself from this lower class of people, of which you believe all conference goers are. Perhaps, 1 day, they too may reach your "higher order of excellence" and be a conference keynote speaker just like YOU.(whatever!).

This list was way too easy for me to put together. How sad that fact is. If you are a presenter, I hope I have stood on your toes and fingers (ouch!) in the hope, if any of what I have listed - is YOU. That you will change you're ways. And quickly. If I have offended you - congratulations. I hope you will review what you're doing and make some immediate changes to both your attitude and your immense lack of skill!



Audiences deserve better, than what many are offering.

You Get What You Accept

This is a follow on of an earlier blog I've written which I called "You Get What You Focus On". With this blog I carry on the theme and state here, that you also get in life what you accept.

Had Enough of Being Treated Badly?

Complained about how you get treated by your team at work, recently? Have you been unhappy about the way your staff speak to one another? Are you saddened by the way your children treat you? Are you not happy about the way your wife or husband approach you when they have a problem with you?

The good news is, YOUR the problem - not them!

(Please... stop it! Yes, they do have a role to play in causing the situation - but only a minor one role. I'm not focusing on the role they play here, so pay attention and follow what I'm about to explain to you).

Think of how you are unhappy about the way you're being treated by certain people or someone in your life. Think of the specific situation, where and how they treat you poorly. Now understand this - they treat you that way because you have been allowing them to do that to YOU!

You have been training people to treat you the way they do. You never stopped them from speaking to you that way or behaving that way towards you. If you have attempted to stop them - it was just that, an attempt, and a poor one at that! An inconsistant attempt on your part to get them to not treat you the way they are. Alternatively, you have ignored their behaviour and thought, by ignoring it, it would go away. WRONG!

By saying nothing you have been condoning the behaviour, supporting and encouring it. With that in mind, how ironic it is, that you are complaining about it. After all - you've allowed it into your life and conditioned these people or person, to treat you badly.

Do you realise what I am saying? That people behave a certain way towards you, because you have allowed them to do so? Yes, you do get from people, the behaviour you are willing to accept from them.

By being passive when an argument is going on and saying nothing to the people fighting, is the same as saying it's ok to fight the way you have been, in front of me. It's ok to run each other down and belittle one another in front of me. NOT!

What will you accept as acceptable behaviour from others? What will you not accept from another person? What will you do if they ignore your request, for them not to treat you that way? Do you know when to say something about how you're being treated?

Don't complain if you're not going to do anything about how you're being treated. Either address the situation or, to put it bluntly - shut up and handle it! You may recall in a much earlier blog how I gave you 4 options you have when the shit hits the fan. These options are relevent in this situation also. Make a decision and decide what you're going to do - knowing that you have actually created the situation and have played a definite role in why you are being treated the way you are.

It's Easy to Contribute

I've had people I've coached say they wish "he" would stop lying to them. Or they'd like their kids to be more honest with them. Or a boss wanting his staff to be more transparent with her. The fact is, they are not and you have contributed to that situation. Do you know what you have done to influence people to lie to you, be dishonest and avoid being transparent with you?

I assure you, you have contributed to it and if it continues on for quite some time, it is because you are willing to accept things being the way the are.

A Way Forward

Decide what you have done to create the behaviour you're not happy with. Address the person concerned in a safe environment and explain what behaviour you're not willing to accept anymore. Own how you feel about the situation and accept the part that you have played in allowing the behaviour to continue and perhaps even escalate. Decide what action you'll take if they ignore your request, to treat you more fairly (leave, complain to the right person or consequence etc...). Once having done this, it is now up to you to honor what you have said and stick to it, consistently.

In my own opinion, it is unacceptable for you to accept being treated badly. It is unacceptable for you to be stressed out and worn out because of bad behaviour, demeaning comments, intimidating gestures or putdowns. My preference for you, is to make a stand. Know what you will and will not stand for and say so! Stop accepting less than you deserve, because if you do, you will continue to get more of what you are willing to accept.

Destruction of New Life

I've been wanting to write on this topic for quite sometime. It's close to my heart, and a theme I emphasise when training those who wish to gain mastery of a specific model, be it in coaching, training or leadership.
I believe that what I am writing about here, causes the destruction of all new discoveries in mankinds attempts to actualise their potential.

What I have seen so often, is people who learn a technique or style and worship the style they have learnt to the detrimant of their continued growth, of what is possible for them. They become entrapped by the models they have learnt, unable to free themselves from it or entertain new possibilities and potential that are avilable to them. Sadly, they can even fight to the death, to ensure the model remains the same, for centuries to come.

New Life Destroyed

What is the new life, I am saying is being destroyed?

It is all the new life, birthed from men and woman over the centuries, who have had an epiphany, revelation, creation or advancement of a new way of thinking, about old things. The easiest example that comes to mind, for me to give you, is the progression over centuries of psychology, psychiatry, psychotherapy and it's 1,000's of variations. There are specific and notable people in the history of self-discovery who have made specific break throughs and advancements in the field of personal development, and the understanding of the "psyche".

These people are recognised and acknowledged as having made a significant contribution to the advancement of the field as a whole. These notables have many people, wishing for new life, advancement and growth, who immediately gather around them and seek to learn directly from them. To learn the new model of how to do what they do. Naturally the growing throng of avid followers must become a formalised movement and this movement to become a global organisation - as good news travels fast. (...and rightly so)

You get the idea don't you? Look into all new movements, be they spiritual, psychological, training, management, leadership etc..., you will find a common trend.

Deaths Journey

In short - the sequence of new life's destruction goes through these stages:

1. A new discovery or advancement of understanding occurs through a particular insight, by a specific person or small group of people.
2. The sharing of the good news discovery with others.
3. The gathering of a growing group based around the good news.
4. The election of a recognised leader of the group.
5. A call to formalise the discovery into a documented and stylised model.
6. The maintaining and containment of the model. With some variations accepted, as it is (or not) applied to other fields - while maintaining the original integrity of the originator.
7. The resistance to any type of extension, challenging or discarding of the now formalised model.
8. The entrapment of the movements followers, by the need to maintain the model and in doing so, over time, resulting in the death of the life that birthed the original new advancement. Naturally the movement must resist (vehemently) any new way of doing what they have done for so long, to maintain the status quo!
9. They also will identify themselves by the name of the movement and fight to maintain their identity.

Am I Clear?

So do you see what I am saying here? Are you getting it?

The dangers I have observed in every movement I have embraced in my learning journey, is the death of the movement based on what I think is a human need to ritualise, canonise and indoctrinate the new discovery, resulting, sooner or later, in it's demise, death and destruction.

Am I saying that you are not to embrace or avidly learn any new model that breaths new life into old bones.

NO!

What I am saying, is learn the model, learn it well and master the model. Discard the model to the degree that is necessary for you to continue to extend yourself on a long term, continuous basis. This will result in the continued growth of the field you have mastered and will place you, often, back into the position of being a learner once again.

I believe there is a need to constantly challenge the model as you master it. To seek out new techniques and understandings. By testing and discarding what you once held sacred, when learning the model you will be contributing back to the domain you are passionate about. Learn the rules also, to learn how to break the rules and make new rules to discard them also as you learn and grow.

A Professional Approach

An example I can give you is when I am providing coaching. I have learnt many models that generate change and I've embraced them all. To generate change for my client I must be free, and willing to break the benchmarks, rules or doctrines of the accepted coaching models I have learnt, for me to continue to learn new ways to generate change byway of my coaching. In doing so, I am free to customise my coaching to align with the specific needs of the client and support them in their change process and self actualisation.

For me to use a formalised, systematised approach based on the rules of a learnt model is too limiting for me and negates the need I have to meet my client where they are at. By having this attitude as I coach, I am free to meet them without a predetermined approach, yet fully equipped with an expansive coaching model and knowledge, yet free from it at the same time!

While I do train people in a specific model of coaching, In my opinion you must seek to move beyond the model you've learnt. You are not to be limited by the model, but to use it solely as a tool to further advance your skill level and to discard it, as you gain new ground as a coach.

This will be very challenging for those who hold tightly to their formalised, ritualised methods of doing what they do (in every profession). I am challenging in this message the very essence of what they have discovered and fought tooth and nail, to gain a professional foothold as an accepted method of operation.

Take a quick look at religion, management, education, psychiatry, medicine etc... Each one fighting for their place as being "The Way" and the ONLY way!

In Closing

Ok. I've written enough for now. Hopefully, to have begun to make my point.

Seek to learn a technique, style, or model. Master it knowing you will discard it (in part or in whole) while taking from it what works, and adding to it by challenging all things considered once sacred, when you were first learning it.

Learn form to be free from form!

Use what you need to know, knowing that it has a "best before date", that it has an "expiry date". To avoid the destruction of any new life discovery, we must be willing to accept the field will evolve, be extended. To be willing to discard old sacred cows and embrace new life, ideas, techniques and styles, that births change and progress.

A Touch of Sarcasm

If you want a new life discovery destroyed, please follow the numbered points I've listed above and you'll achieve it within a short time frame. A sure sign that you're well on your way to destroying it is, you'll fight over how to protect the model from the heretics that threaten to undermine the way things are done!

Whew! - I guess that qualifies me as a heretic then ( ...am I alone out there?) - While others may consider this approach revolutionary the majority will have you burnt at the stake!!!

All the very best as you aim to have continuous growth and new life - free from rituals, routines and form.

You Get What You Focus On

Simple enough isn't it? The statement says it all - You get what you focus on.

Stretch the meaning of this little quote and you could cause quite a stir, and gain a lot of global attention, because it sounds so easy. All I have to do is focus on what I want and shazzam - it comes into my life? This idea of success and instant wealth naturally fills the "...There's gotta be an easier way to get what I want..." - mentality, dominant in society today. It meets the needs of those who want everything, and only willing to contribute as little as possible to get it!

Let's look into this quote a little more closely, to gain some clarity on this often used and misused statement.

It takes more than just focusing on something and you get it (aka "The Secret" - not!). The idea that you get what you focus on, popularised recently by the movie "The Secret" apparently supported by a mystical secret law called the "Law of Attraction". Personally, I thought it was a great money earner (don't buy the book - save your money) for those who produced it, and who eventually ended up being hosted on the Oprah Winfrey Show. It certainly worked for them financially and gained a strong following worldwide, of would be wealth creators. Hoping, if they thought of what they want often enough, it would be attracted to them! (Yea - whatever!!!)

Some Clarity Needed

I'll clear up a few things here to clarify what I consider the real meaning of - "you get what you focus on". The quote has been said in a number of variations over the centuries, like James Allen, who's popular book entitled, As a Man Thinketh (well worth a read) said it like this "...As a man thinketh in his heart, so he is". I've often used in my presentations the variation "...We become our most dominant thought..." Whichever variation you use, it all comes down to this 1 consistent factor, that our thinking powerfully influences what we experience in life.

7 Key Points to Follow

To get what you focus on you need to follow some very important rules which I have listed below, so here they are:

1) You need to have a clear and defined (specific) understanding of what it is that you wish to get more of in your life.

2) You need to consistently think of what it is you want (See step 4).

3) You need to have a positive emotional connection with what you want. Emotion will fuel your desire for what you want (read my earlier blog on the 4D's of Success). To give you an idea of the level of intensity that emotion plays apart in this for you is that it needs to be a physical sensation. I recall personally when wanting to achieve a specific outcome in my life how I could be physically moved by the emotion (i.e. tears, muscle tension, a smile, clenched fist etc...). It needs to be at a level of intensity that you "feel' the emotion as being near overwhelming and it is directly linked to your level of certainty of what you want will eventuate for you.

4) You need to have an obsession with what it is that you want. This means that you will think of it often throughout the day. It will be the 1st thing you think of when you wake up and it will be the last thing you think of before going to sleep. And, you may even dream about it while you're asleep! Are you getting what I mean? - that's intense isn't it! Yet this is what is needed. Too often I meet people who think they will get what they focus on, but have know idea of the degree to which they must focus on it. You need to hold it mind on a consistent and regular basis - day in and day out!

5) You need to actively be involved with making it a reality in your life. This requires you to be physically involved in performing practical, planned actions that will ensure you experience what you want, as a reality. Do you understand this part? You MUST practically do something physically about getting what it is that you want.

6) You must have a strong sense of it being "true" to you. There are things that you know are true in your life. What you want must also have the same level of meaning - that it is true and therefore you are certain that what you want will materialise for you (backed up by deliberate action). That it is not a dream, but a certainty for you, that this can and will happen - undeniably!

7) Complete and utter belief that any possibility of failure is not possible. The only possible outcome is success. Irrespective of setbacks, hardships and temporary failings. Nothing (...and I mean nothing) can stop you from getting what you have focused on.

As Easy As That!

So there you have it. Quite easy, really, isn't it! Naturally, if it was that easy everyone would be doing it. Many want things and they are really only wishing they had them and are unwilling to make the real commitment (as I've listed above) to do what they need to do to get what they want.

Use the list above as reminder of what you MUST do to get what you want by focusing on it. Use the 7 points to enhance your goal setting. It's entirely up to you, stop thinking that there is an easy road to success. Nothing comes from doing nothing. Focus on what you want and actively pursue it! All the best in applying these principles to your future goals and aspirations.

In this article I've focused on the actualisation of your goals byway how you think of what you focus on. In a later article I will write about how your behaviour and therefore your results are radically influenced by what you most consistently think of.